Day 6: Enjoy the Mess
Welcoming a puppy to your world also invites in a huge mess. Rather than be annoyed by it and resist it, here's your invitation to enjoy it!
Insider tip: Puppies are messy.
They get muddy and leave a trail of paw prints all over your newly cleaned floors and furniture and your pants when they jump on you.
Their toys can end up scattered all over the place, only to be stepped on (ow!) or tripped over when you're letting the pup out in the middle of the night.
They can shred sticks and leave bark and splinters all over your house, or haul in other treasures from the yard to destroy.
And don't even get me started on the bodily fluid messes they create -- slobber, pee, poo, upchuck when they eat something nasty off the street. Ewww, boy! So. Gross.
If you prefer a tidy home (or life) with no debris (physical or emotional) strewn about, then a puppy may not be for you. Or, it may be exactly the thing for you!
If you want to examine why it is that you don't like a mess, then you can borrow my puppy for an afternoon. Notice what a mess brings up in you: resistance? anxiety? anger? something else?
What's that about?
If a chaotic mess is something you can't be with, a puppy can help you get explore that. (Disclaimer for clarity: I do NOT recommend getting a puppy JUST to explore this; if you get one, please be intentional and consider all aspects of pet ownership, not just your own growth journey.)
One of the great personal growth opportunities in our lives is learning to be with what we can't (or choose not to) be with.
By being with what's uncomfortable, disliked or unwanted, we grow our capacity for empathy, for tolerance, for presence. We become better able to roll with what shows up in our lives, especially the hard stuff. We take power away from the thing we can't be with and reclaim it for ourselves.
And, you may even discover that you actually like something you previously thought you didn't. (Ever tried a food later in life that you despised as a kid, and found out you like it?)
And besides, a mess can be cleaned up later.
It's the aspect of later that is the gift of a mess: it gives you permission to be present in the messiness and find the joy in the experience. Get muddy (or covered in paint, or dress-up clothes, or cookie batter) right alongside your puppy (or kid or spouse or friend or self).
Have some fun. Be in the messy moment, and look for the joy.
The Rest of Our Lives
So, what lessons can be applied to the rest of our lives, whether or not we have a puppy in our homes? Here are some questions that may help you consider where you can allow and be with the mess in your life.
Our Households and Families
Where is avoiding a mess actually getting in the way of connection, fun and joy in your household?
Where could you allow or invite in a little more mess?
Our Businesses and Workplaces
How could you create space for messiness in your work practices, as a way to foster creativity, connection and ease stress?
Ourselves
What are you avoiding or resisting that's messy in your life right now?
How could learning to be with that mess help grow you?
What else?
Where else are you seeing resistance to the mess in your life? Share your thoughts with me by replying, or posting on my social channels. Let’s keep this conversation going.
The bottom line: Don't let the mess of life distract you from the joy.
Puppy Update:
Puppy-induced literal messes still abound in our house and car and on our pants and jackets…especially now that we’re back into the rainy fall weather. And, I’ve made space for more messiness, less constraint and perfection, over the past year, too, especially when it comes to parenting. As parents of little people, some of us tend to swoop in and fix, remove discomfort and anticipate needs (and wants). Too much of that means kids don’t learn to figure it out for themselves. I’ve pulled waaaay back on my tendency to keep things organized and, ahem, controlled, for the sake of letting things slide and be messy, in the interest of enabling growth and figure-it-out-ability in our kid. It’s not always pretty, but it’s good.
