Day 5: Redefine Success
When you welcome a new puppy to your home -- or integrate any change in your life -- it's helpful to define, and perhaps redefine, success.
Our life before a puppy was fairly "successful."
What I mean by that is our family's life was hitting most of the marks that we'd established as ideal, desired and intended.
For example, we'd established a rhythm to our days and weeks that fit our wants: sleeping (and waking) when we wanted; going for hikes almost every weekend; enjoying time in and out of our home at will; leaving belongings (mundane or cherished) on the coffee table for awhile before finding their true home.
We were able to work from home in two different spaces to ensure noise was minimal and client calls weren't interrupted with family life.
Over the years, we've lived through the challenges of a newborn baby, the toddler years, changing jobs, big losses, scary diagnoses, a move across the country.
Right now, we are healthy, mostly happy and doing okay by most standards. Success!
Before Suzanne showed up, when she was just a possibility, we discussed what Big S Success (our ultimate goal) would look like: a well-mannered, well-socialized dog who fit into our lifestyle and household. Specific measures of success include being good with all kinds of people; not being a barker; being confident and assertive without being aggressive; not begging at the table; being kennel trained.
When Suzanne first showed up in our life, we needed to adjust our immediate definition of success, our Small S Success, in order to keep things in perspective AND moving toward our ultimate measures of Big S Success.
Otherwise, we'd be defeated.
So, we focused on daily -- even hourly -- wins: whining to go outside to pee (yay!); learning to sit on command (yay!); being cooperative when getting into her harness (yay!); biting a toy instead of one of our hands (yay!).
Little by little, as she became more comfortable with us and our household, and we grew more able to read her signals and language, progress was made: daily Little S Successes move us toward Big S Success.
Some of Suzanne's wins that we're celebrating just a month into our lives together include:
sleeping through the night, at least most nights
visiting the vet, getting shots and NOT being freaked out
going into her kennel at her leisure and on command
learning to sit, stay, come and off
learning to jump onto the couch
meeting the letter carrier, the crossing guard, lots of kids, random adults and other dogs with respect
visiting new places like stores, trails, parks and the ocean
riding in the car without screeching
walking on a loose leash (sometimes)
toileting outside
We're finding it important to hold the longer term (post-puppydom/2+year) vision of success AND the immediate markers of success simultaneously.
Some days, it's two steps forward, one step back. Other days, it's one step forward, three steps back.
And, week over week, and month over month (I hope!) we'll see progress toward our Big S Success of a fully-integrated furry family member.
The Rest of Our Lives
So, what lessons can be applied to the rest of our lives, whether or not we have a puppy in our homes? Here are some questions that may help you consider what success looks like in various aspects or your life, especially in times of change.
Our Households and Families
What is your family's shared vision of success, around any topic? What measures and milestones can you celebrate along the way to create momentum and stay motivated?
Our Businesses and Workplaces
When something unplanned occurs, how quickly is your business or team able to integrate a set-back and redefine what a win might look like?
Ourselves
What's one area of your life that's feel unsuccessful? How can you redefine success in the short-term to get back on track? Or, does your vision of success need to shift, given what's changed in your life since you created that earlier idea of success?
What else?
Where else are you seeing a need to redefine success? Share your thoughts with me by replying, or posting on my social channels. Let’s keep this conversation going.
The bottom line: Success can be a moving target as we live life. Holding both short-term and long-term visions of success can help us be motivated and feel like we're winning at life.
Puppy Update:
Not quite a full year into puppy-parenthood, we’ve achieved success with some of our short-term goals — like toileting outside, sleeping through the night and riding in the car like a champ — while others, we’ve let go, such as kenneling. We had to re-evaluate during the course of our efforts and prioritize other goals — such as sleeping through the night, for all of us. We still hold daily Small S Success (like good recall at the off-leash park…a work in progress) AND longer-term Big S Success (like being a well-mannered dog who gets along with everyone simultaneously.
