Day 4: The Perfect Time
How many of us are waiting for the perfect time to do that thing -- start a family, write that book, get those professional photos taken, take a vacation, move to an island, tell someone how much they mean to us?
We just need to save enough money, lose enough weight, get enough work done, set the mood perfectly...right?
Hmmm...maybe.
These future-focused I'll be ready when fill-in-the-blank scenarios can create massive disappointment in our lives. We end up putting off the thing we really want to do until the conditions are "perfect."
And guess what? Those perfect conditions rarely come, and so we keep putting off the thing. Then we feel let down.
And the worst part? We know we have only ourselves to be disappointed in. Ugh.
So what's the solution?
Taking action. Stepping into the fray. Taking the leap. Pushing the button. Diving in. Going for it. Just doing it.
Now, granted, there's a balance to be struck between jumping in and careful consideration. And only you will be able to find your sweet spot there. It's that place somewhere between procrastination/avoidance/over-analysis/needing more information, and leaping into the unknown without even checking for danger.
When it came to welcoming a new dog to our family, we considered a lot of factors. First, the really practical things, such as:
Are we financially ready to invest in acquiring and caring for a new dog? (We'd spent quite a lot on our senior dog over the past couple of years, and especially near the end with tests and medications and then his eventual euthanasia and cremation. We needed to let our funds replenish and focus on some other things that required an injection of moolah before embarking on a new dog commitment.)
What kind of dog, and from where would we get it?
How old?
Were we willing to wait out getting a good match from a rescue, or did we want to "place an order" with a breeder to get a dog sooner?
What did we need to modify in our home or car for a new dog?
How would our daily schedules be impacted?
Then we considered the more emotional aspects of a new dog, such as:
Have we grieved Morris's death to an extent that we can be ready to love and nurture a new animal fully?
Do we have the emotional space to deal with both learning a new dog, and teaching them to be part of our family, and all the joy, anger, frustration, impatience that accompanies that?
What will we do differently than when we welcomed our past dogs into our family? What's different now?
Can we consciously adopt from a breeder, knowing there are lots of dogs who need families out in the world? Or will we beat ourselves up for being part of a system that puts more dogs into the world?
Can we be okay with the stipulations various rescues put on prospective adoptees?
Can we deal with the rejection, the raised and then dashed hopes with each potential match that results in...nothing?
Can our hearts take it, over and over?
And finally, do we really want a new dog, given all these considerations? Is now the right time, given how difficult it is to find a dog these days (at least where we are located)?
Our preference has always been to adopt from a shelter or rescue. We are big fans of mixed breed dogs, and all of our past mutts have been...mutts: a collie/Aussie shepherd; a lab/unknown; a husky/border collie; a saluki cross; a Great Pyrenees/Kuvasz; and a Heinz 57. But rescues and shelters on Vancouver Island have had high demand since the pandemic arrived. After several months and several applications resulting in zero responses, we were seriously considering alternate options.
And, our preference has also always been to adopt slightly older dogs...six months, two years, five years old. A brand new puppy was low on our list of wants. There were senior dogs available, but they were mostly VERY senior...and we'd just been through that experience. We knew our hearts couldn't do it again so soon.
So when a litter became available at a rescue in northern Alberta that a friend was in touch with for their own potential second dog, we jumped. In a matter of days, we had spoken for #6 (now known as Suzanne) and began the frantic preparations to both transport her and get our house and lives ready for her arrival.
This was certainly a case of jumping before we knew all the answers. There was conflicting information provided by volunteers; at one point, the rescue thought we were NOT interested (quickly remedied!); and it was unclear until the final moments how the dogs, five in total coming to Vancouver Island, would actually be transported.
The question of timing popped up in conversation as the plans solidified, and what we discovered is that in many ways, timing was....actually close to perfect. How strange.
In terms of getting the dogs here, I had a few days off that meant I could travel with one of the other adoptive parents to retrieve them, after plans for flying them fell through. (Was it ideal timing to drive 1500 km during a global pandemic, when travel is not recommended? No. Did we do it as safely and efficiently as we could? Yes.)
My spouse and I were both working from home, and with non-essential excursions limited, a new dog won't be alone much. (This of course means there will be a delay in learning how to be alone, but we'll deal with that later.)
Our daughter is now 10, an ideal age for added responsibility when it comes to a new pet. If everyone remains healthy and safe, this will be the dog that lives through our daughter's next decade -- Suzanne will be with her from age 10 to 20, or more. That's pretty cool. (And, that's going to be an impactful loss when she eventually passes, but we'll deal with that when it comes.)
I already shared how my first work-week with a new dog in the house was fairly quiet, so that worked out well.
And, we're coming out of the rainy season and into spring-like weather in a few weeks (ah, island life!), so we won't have to deal with super-muddy paws and bellies for much longer.
Could we have waited until we found the "perfect" dog at the "perfect" time when everything else on our plates was "perfectly" dealt with? Perhaps.
But we chose to leap. And we're glad we did (except at 3 a.m.). Puppies are full-on. Whew! I think if we'd known the full extent of puppy-ness in some of the most challenging moments, we might have reconsidered. But, here we are. I think it's better we dove in.
Time will tell.
The Rest of Our Lives
So, what lessons can be applied to the rest of our lives, whether or not we have a puppy in our homes? Here are some questions that may help you consider what you're delaying or diving into, procrastinating on or blindly plunging toward.
Our Households and Families
What things have you put off, avoided or ignored because the timing or conditions aren't "perfect" or we aren't "ready?"
What impact is that having on your household dynamics?
Our Businesses and Workplaces
What aspect of your business, workplace or team -- systems, growth, customer service, quality, relationships -- have you put on the back burner until you generate enough return, attract enough customers or gain enough profile?
If you're starting a business or shifting direction, what seeds can you plant now that will take root and begin to grow sooner rather than later? How can you begin before you have it all figured out?
Ourselves
What thing(s) have we set aside for too long, waiting until all the other "more important" things are done, complete, dealt with?
What's the emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual cost of that delay?
What's lost by not doing the thing we really want to do or be the person we really want to be?
If you reach the end of your life and have not done that thing or been yourself, how will you feel?
What easiest first step could you take now with that in mind?
What else?
Where else are you noticing that you're waiting for "perfect timing" or ideal conditions? Share your thoughts with me by replying, or posting on my social channels. Let’s keep this conversation going.
The bottom line: There's no such thing as perfect timing. OR, It's ALWAYS the perfect-ish time!
Puppy Update:
I’m happy to share that the timing really did work out for us with Suzanne’s adoption. She got to do a lot of her first things during the past year as the seasons unfolded: first camping trip, first car trip, learning to swim, first sleepover at someone else’s house, first Airbnb experience, first Halloween and the weird obsession with fireworks here (she doesn’t even notice them, thankfully). She learned to be home alone when it wasn’t appropriate for her to tag along with us, but mostly, she explored the world and learned how to be a (somewhat) respectable member of her community.
