So, how about this pandemic, hey?
For those of us who have been lucky enough not to get sick OR have loved ones fall ill OR have loved ones die, alone in a care home or hospital OR grieve from afar OR lose in come and financial stability OR have trouble finding food, medication, shelter and basic comforts, (deep breath) this pandemic has created an opportunity to examine what is essential in our lives.
You know, other than our health, our loved ones’ health, and our ability to procure the necessities of basic human survival.
The fact that you’re still reading tells me you’re probably one of the lucky ones. For those of us who are privileged to be able to maintain a semblance of pre-pandemic life, or absorb the punches coming at us and remain standing, the opportunity to question our first-world daily luxuries is ripe. And I say we pick ‘em.
Case in point:
I’m noticing in the circles of women with whom I’m intertwined, there is a lot of chatter about the state of our hair.
(Now, in the life-threatening seriousness of a pandemic, talking about hair may seem frivolous. And it totally is. But stay with me here.
I want to use the example hair provides to examine all the choices we make about our discretionary resources, and even our entire lives. We’ve all had a relationship with hair in some capacity (whether we currently have any or not) so it offers a tangible starting point for diving deep within.
And by looking within, we can discover what’s driving our choices, and therefore either continue to make those choices from a place of conscious alignment, or be empowered to make different ones that will create the world we want on the other side of this pandemic. ‘Cause it’s not gonna be like it was before, and neither are we. And our hair can help show us the way.)
Back to pandemic hair.
I’ve seen and heard lots of lamenting of grey hair, too-long hair, unshaped hair. I’ve seen the tragic, hilarious and occasionally successful Quarantine Cuts that are happening at home. Heck, I performed one on my daughter. She’s happy, so let’s call it a success! I’ve seen the memes and the how-to videos, and the people growing their hat collections along with their locks.
So, how are you feeling about your hair right now, this many weeks into quarantine / self-isolation / lock-down?
I’ll tell you how I’m doing in a bit. But first, let’s focus on you.
For many women (and men, too), our hair is a major source of identity and pride and confidence. We’ve all had “bad hair days,” amiright? The fact that’s even a thing tells you how important hair is in our culture and in us feeling confident and worthy and capable. There’s something about having a “good hair day” that makes things feel easier, more enjoyable, and like we can take on the world and maybe more importantly, that we deserve to take on the world. It’s even been studied.
Our hair is a major investment of both time and money. Let’s start with money. The global hair care product market in 2018 was estimated at close to $88 billion US. Yup, BILLION with a B. B for Big Money. (During the pandemic, it’s already been projected that in the US people are spending almost 75% less than normal on personal services (77% less in the UK), including trips to the salon or barber, so while that’s moolah in consumer’s pockets, it’s leaving hair stylists empty-handed.
What to do about that? Send them some love...in the form of money, if you’re able. Your hair stylist is likely struggling in the income department right now. Why not send him or her payment for any missed appointments you might have had during this time? They get to eat and pay their rent or mortgage, and you get to feel good. Win win.
Next, consider how much time you spend on your hair. Let’s get hypothetical: You travel to and from your stylist once every six weeks, which takes you 30 minutes one way, plus chair time of (conservatively) an hour. That’s 8.67 appointments a year, so let’s round that down to eight to account for holiday weeks and to make the maths easy. So, eight appointments times two hours each equals 16 hours. Not bad. Only two business days a year going to the salon.
Let’s add in your at-home hair-care time. I assume you wash your hair, and I know there are different practices culturally and occupationally and whatnot here, so let’s just go with five washes a week and a 10-minute shower time and call it even. Again, keeping things simple. So, that brings us to 50 minutes a week times 52 weeks equals 2600 minutes or 43.3 hours of hair washing a year. Cool.
Let’s style those locks! We’ll apply some product, comb or brush, blow, curl or straighten, maybe stick it in some rollers or twisters or whatever new things are on the market, or slap it into a pony or in some braids, or spike it all up, squeeze it into a banana clip old school, whatever. The options are endless and so are the time allotments...so let’s just say it’s 30 minutes a day spent styling, and let’s just count five work days a week (you get weekends, whatever those are, off!). So, 150 minutes per week equates to 7800 minutes or 130 hours a year styling your hair. Neat-o!
Basically, if my math works out, an *average person (*completely unscientifically substantiated) spends almost 175 hours a year, or 3.4 hours a week, or just over ONE WHOLE WEEK (of 24-hour days) a year on their hair. And we didn’t even count the hours spent searching the internet for the perfect picture of that cut you want.
Bottom line: Big Money, Big Time.
So, I’m just gonna leave those numbers there for pondering.
Back to pandemic hair. Again.
During this pandemic, the inability to access professionals to shape, colour, tame, extend, curl, blow out and otherwise coif is sadly impacting many women’s self-esteem. (Here’s a resource for understanding and assessing the relationships between our appearances and self esteem.)
And I get it.
We all want to look how we want to look.
Cool.
Even if the only humans who will see us are either in our homes, or other unshorn grocery shoppers, food delivery drivers, or online meeting attendees.
Again, I get it. We’re visual creatures. We make millisecond decisions and assessments based on how someone looks. And, what has also been studied, is that we care a lot more about how we look than others do.
So it’s one thing to take pride in how your hair is did. But, if you are crippled with anxiety because your roots are showing, or your ends are splitting, or your bangs are too long, we should maaaaybe look at that. And, if you’re feeling resistance to looking at that, then we should reeeeeeeally look at that!
Park your internal critic and dial down your judge-o-meter, and with pure, open curiosity, ask yourself these questions and see what comes up for you:
What does your hair say/show about you?
Why does your hair matter (so much)?
Who expects your hair to look a certain way? And why? (If it’s not you, why does that person’s opinion matter?)
Who would you be without your hair?
Take some deep breaths. If difficult emotions are coming up and inner truths are hard for you, then switch to your logical brain and consider:
What is the true investment you make into your hair, and what’s the return on that investment? First, figure out the dollars and cents of it: What do cuts, colours, tools, and treatments cost? And, give yourself an hourly rate for the time you put into it -- and add up what you are not earning while doing your hair.
Then figure out what you get in return that’s a direct result of your hair: Your job? A promotion? Confidence? Compliments?
Is the ROI bountiful and balanced enough for you?
If not, where might you rather invest your time, energy and money?
Then, if you’re feeling brave, return to your emotional brain and ask:
From where might you rather source your confidence and self-worth?
That’s a lot of questions. Take your time with them.
Back to my pandemic hair.
That time it was a tad windy in Keflavik
I’m doing fine. Hair is actually not a concern of mine, which is maybe why I notice it being an issue for others and started thinking about it. In fact, my initial (ahem, slightly judge-y) response to hearing someone complain about the condition of their hair is an incredulous internal, “It’s just hair!”
That’s likely because when it comes to hair, I am beyond low maintenance. I just don’t place value on appearance in the same way that some other people do. Some would suggest I place too little value on appearance, but that’s for another time.
My hair is long and greying.
I have three styles: loose, low ponytail or high ponytail.
It needs a trim, but in non-pandemic times, I get it trimmed, like, two to three times a year. Tops.
I like simplicity and comfort and a low-maintenance lifestyle. That’s just how I roll.
It hasn’t always been like this. I started playing with colour back in about grade seven or eight, and have been everything from platinum blonde to flaming red. I’ve worn long styles, pixie cuts, perms (hello ‘80s!), a shaved head on numerous occasions, and all kinds of “needs weekly maintenance” coiffures over the years. But for the past 10 years, it’s been free of chemicals, and for the past seven, it’s been long and ponytailable.
Evidence that a professional styled my hair once for a fancy occasion
Why? Well, first and foremost, like a lot of women, I wear my hair how I like it, whether that’s au naturel or chemically processed or what have you. (Anyone else into grombre?) Unlike what the North American brainwashing beauty industry tells us, I CANNOT WAIT for it all to turn grey and I think it’s gwaaahhhrgeous!
And second, I would rather spend my time doing about a hundred other things, including sleeping in, than working on my ‘do. And I would rather spend my money on things that bring my life more meaning and joy, like books, travel (maybe someday again…) and really good coffee beans.
My values of simplicity and realness drive my choices around my hair… and a lot of other things in my life. Go figure. Your values of beauty and luxury and pampering, or something else, might drive your (different) choices. Cool. We all get to be ourselves!
Here’s a practical challenge for you during the pandemic (again, if you are one of the ones in a position of privilege and minor inconveniences): Let your hair continue to grow in whatever way it shows up. Meet it as it is. Let it be. And notice what that brings up for you.
What can you learn about yourself by being in the discomfort of not looking how you want to look right now?
What’s available to you from the discomfort?
Who are you without your “normal” or preferred hairstyle?
And do you like that person, or would you choose to be someone who isn’t defined / influenced / limited by their “bad” hair?
Now extrapolate the learning from that to other luxuries of your “normal” life.
Where are you investing your time, energy and money?
What’s the return you’re getting? Is it worth it?
When you look at the choices you make, are you living from your values, or not? If not, what are you putting ahead of what you value most?
What do you want to do about that?
Let your hair show you the way.
Reach out if you want some help untangling all this.