Our puppy Suzanne turns one today. I’m looking back on what she’s brought to our lives since we adopted her last January, and revisiting the series I wrote earlier this year called 10 Days of Puppy Wisdom. I’m sharing the series — with updates — here over the next 10 days.
Day 1: Many Hands
We’ve all heard the saying “Many hands make light work.”
And it’s true, especially when a new puppy joins your life. The same holds for a new baby, a new role at work, or a new project…or any aspect of our lives, really.
Our Puppy Village
When one of the other adoptive parents and I drove to pick up the five puppies coming to Victoria from northern BC, we were grateful for extra hands. The puppies needed collars put on, a massive kennel clean-up and wrangling adventure 15 minutes into the trip after a poop blow-out, potty and water breaks during the rest of the 13-hour drive, and calming when they were returned to their travel crates for the long journey from Quesnel to Victoria.
When we boarded the 9 p.m. ferry from Tsawwassen to Swartz Bay for the final leg of the mission, we were first in line, so we asked the ferry staff if we could park next to the pet area on board (and take it over with five puppies). They did us one better: we got to park at the back of the ferry, in the green zone (away from other vehicles on a fairly empty sailing); they helped us transport the squirmy little beasts to the dog room; made sure we had what we needed (water in the bowls, all our cleaning supplies for the impending poos, and extra eyes and hands as we blocked doorways, filled water and food bowls and picked up many, MANY poos) before returning to their regularly assigned duties.
By that point, we were both exhausted from treacherous driving on unfamiliar roads during the past two days (with little sleep) with a car full of pent-up screeching pups (who’d been that way for six hours before getting in our vehicle), depleted adrenaline stores, and intestinal systems running on car snacks for the whole day. And it felt like total luxury for someone else to hold a puppy (or five) while we just. took. a. moment.
Since then, the puppies have met up in smaller and larger groups for play dates, and sharing the puppy-adjustment burden. Some of the new puppy parents work from home, so we’ve been hosting puppy day care for siblings a few hours a day. Others meet up at the dog park so they can play together and burn off steam. We’ve got a text group that was created to coordinate the adoption process and transportation, and now is used to share resources, tips and progress reports.
It is so helpful knowing others are going through the same challenges and triumphs we are — like crate training, how much they are eating, sleep training, and car rides. We can share tips and ideas about the hard stuff, and celebrate the good stuff.
In our house, we’ve been crate training at night (and during the day) so that our pup will be able to travel and stay at others’ without being a nuisance/while being safe in the future. The first few nights were BRUTAL. Whimpering and screeching, multiple potty breaks, and not much sleep for us adults. It was just like coming home with a newborn human, which, if you’ve never experienced it, is like a messed up form of twisted love because you signed up for it AND you can’t change your mind and send them back, AND you also can’t sleep, even though you really, REALLY want to. (Sleep deprivation is no joke: I couldn’t figure out how to log onto my computer the first morning…)
What made it work in our house? Many hands. My spouse and I tag teamed the tasks to get the puppy in her kennel, soothe her once inside so we could close the door and and fall asleep, then arise when she squeaked, leash her and walk her around our yard space so she could relieve herself and then do it all again, and again, and AGAIN until it was close enough to morning that we just all stayed up. Same goes for walks, which our 10-year-old can do on her own(!), and play time/occupying the wee one, training and feeding. By sharing the load, we are making it work.
The Rest of Our Lives
So, what lessons can be applied to the rest of our lives, whether or not we have a puppy in our homes? Here are some questions that may help you acknowledge the many hands that support you, or identify the need for more hands on deck.
Our Households and Families
Who carries the bulk of the workload to manage and maintain your household — from home repair, maintenance, cleaning and upkeep, food acquisition and preparation, medical appointments, extra curricular activities, homework, schoolwork, bill paying, and so on?
How does this unpaid workload balance with paid work either inside or outside the home?
How has this balance been impacted by COVID?
Is it time to redesign the responsibility list so that all parties are supporting your family system equitably?
Our Businesses and Workplaces
How can team members best perform while being supported and celebrated by each other?
If you run your own business, how have you supported yourself to do the work that is best-suited to you (your skills and passions)?
Who have you enlisted, hired or bartered with to fill the gaps and ensure your business is delivering on your dreams?
Ourselves
What are we carrying inside that might be made lighter by sharing with others?
Where can we turn to our village for support, assistance and buoyancy to ensure we aren’t burning out?
What value might fostering connection and support provide in our lives?
What else?
Where else do you see the need for many hands? Share your thoughts with me by replying, or posting on my social channels. Let’s keep this conversation going.
The bottom line: We need community to survive. We need our village to thrive.
Puppy Update:
Four of the five local siblings got together for a pre-birthday play, and it was epic!
